Are you sure.....

My wife never at any point in her life was a blonde......
I am no longer allowed to ask if she is sure she doesn't have blonde roots...
I am also not allowed to laugh when a co-worker asks her the same question.....

Go ahead and hold that over my head....

While at lunch, my wife and I are having one of those discussions where she tries to get me to say something that I fear she will hold over my head and that I will end up regretting.
After multiple attempts on her part, she finally asks why I won't say this "phrase".
I tell her that I don't want her to trick me into saying something that later she can hold over my head.
She then informs me that she isn't tall enough to hold those words over my head.
I was smacked for laughing and agreeing.

I was right....

Occasionally, my wonderful wife and I have one of those conversations where she thinks I am wrong.
Then she finds out that I was right......
When this happens, I am NOT allowed to ask her to repeat her self over and over and over when she tells me I was right.....
Apparently, I am supposed to be humble or something when she tells me I was right.

I WAS RIGHT!!!!!

It may not happen often, but it does happen.

Just being agreeable....

From time to time I am accused of just being agreeable.
I will admit, that sometimes that is the truth.
Sometimes it is not.
Most of the time, it doesn't matter where we eat, or what movie we watch, or even what color the bedspread is.
As long as my wonderful wife is happy, I am happy.

There is a down side to being agreeable as I discovered this past weekend.
My wonderful wife suggested that maybe she was crazy.
I was dumb and agreed with her. And followed it up with I am just being agreeable.
I now know that being agreeable is bad, especially when she says something like that.
I might one day be able to use my right arm to drive again.

The Latin Grammy's

So this evening I am being introduced to something new. Something I never new existed, or even gave any thought to.
Yes, I am referring to the Latin Grammy's.
As I am sitting here watching what looks like a Puerto Rico version of Eminem... I suddenly have a thought... I know, I really shouldn't do that. :)
I started my question out with "I have a dumb question"... (just imagine the look I got)
I proceed to ask, if it is harder to write music to go with the lyrics in a song because there is what sounds like a lot more syllables in Spanish words than in English words......
Yeah, I really did ask that..... And yes, I was told that was a dumb question.

I'm not useless

Today while driving to the hardware store, my wife asked me if I remembered to grab something out of the garage.

I had to admit, that I did not remember said item.

My loving wife then informed me that I was useless.

My retort was that I am not useless, I am good for lots of things, just not the things she wants me to be useful for.

Apparently, that means that I am still useless.

My shorter half

Quite often I refer to my wonderful wife as my better half when speaking to friends and family.
A couple days ago at work while talking to a good friend of mine, I was feeling ornery and referred to her as my shorter half.
He of course told her what I said and I got that look that says tread carefully. I have seen this look many times. (Many many times)
So this evening I informed my brother that he should never ever refer to his wife as that either.
Little did I know, that my wonderful wife could hear me. Oops.
I could feel the you're in trouble look even though I couldn't see her.
I wait patiently for her to get even.

Your pants aren't too long

While walking back from lunch last week, my wife mentioned that her pants were too long as they were dragging on the ground.
I look down to examine the situation. She was right, I started laughing.
"Her response was go ahead and say it, you know you want to."
I asked her what I was going to say... Her answer was spot on:
"Your pants aren't too long, your legs are too short."

Even though I didn't say it, I still got smacked.