Dumb question

I should never ever ask my wife "What is wrong with me?"....

Going out to eat

One evening when trying to figure out where we should go to eat I suggested Mexican food. I was then prompted for ideas as to where..... I gave my response, and was very promptly informed that Taco Bell is not Mexican food..... Hhmm seems I still have a few things to learn.

Dinner Time

Just because my wife (who is Mexican) cooks hamburgers for dinner, does not mean that they are Mexican Hamburgers.... The same holds true with Lasagna....

Another lesson learned....

One night when assisting my wonderful wife with some task such as laundry or making the bed..... I made a mistake, this is not uncommon for me.

She started to (and I only assume this) lecture on my failure.

What I do know for sure, is that after the first 3 words, she switched from speaking English to Spanish.
Me, not understanding much Spanish(barely any at all) looked at her with a confused look until she finished.

When she said her piece, I very politely requested she repeat everything she had just said, only say it slower because it turned me on.

Yes, this did get me smacked, and is probably something I should not say again..

What was I thinking....

When my wife asks me a technical questions, I am not allowed her to tell her to call Dell and have a case opened and then have me engaged on the case........

She's really not that short.....

A couple of months ago, I had been out working in the garage to get it cleaned up and organized.
One of the goals, was to get the trailer out of the garage so we could put the furniture on it in for a garage sale.

Once I got everything onto the trailer, it was time to move the trailer out of the garage.
Juli's car was blocking my trailer.
I asked her for the keys to her car so I could move it.
One of the boys  heard me and asked if he could "back the car out of the driveway".
My response was "No you can't do that, you can't see over the steering wheel, and I don't feel like adjusting your mom's booster seat".

I learned a very valuable lesson that day, always check to make sure your wife isn't holding a hammer before you say something dumb......

Things not to say to or around your wife. A little History

I would like to start out by saying I love my wife dearly, and would never say the types of things you will see in this blog in anger or frustration.
We have been married for over 2 years, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Most of this starts by me laughing a lot before the words just slip out.
She knows that when I start laughing a lot, that whatever I am about to say, I will probably regret.


When we met, we both worked together in IT at Dell.
I was looking for someone to translate for me with a Mexican customer who didn't speak English.
Julieta came to the rescue. She translated for me.

Then many months (and many funny stories)later I married my wonderful Mexican wife.

Instead of trying to go through the hassle of getting both of our large families and friends together all in one place, we ran off to Vegas to get married.

It was amazing, we were married in the Valley of Fire outside of Vegas.
Once we got back, we then proceeded to tell everyone what we did.
We go to my parents house to tell them what we did.

So we start describing the place were we where married. My dad informs us that we were X number of miles from Area 51.
My mom, seeing a chance for a quick jab insult, looks to Juli and says about me, "So you married an alien".
Before I knew the words were coming out of my mouth, I responded with "No mom, I checked her papers, she's legal".

Did you know that shoes can travel at very high velocities? :)
This embarrassed mom quite a bit. Juli thought it was hysterical.

Thus begins our life together, and my many lessons of things not to say to or around my wife.