I was right

I was right... once.
I discovered that when I am right, I am "not" allowed to ask my wonderful wife to repeat herself while I record it.
It just won't happen.

We are having a baby

Well everyone, congrats are in order as we are having a baby. I'm excited. Although, as I've already learned, this is going to get me into a lot of trouble.
I just never know when to not say something. Some people(me) just never learn.

This is what was posted to Facebook.

Spring brings with it new beginnings
Grass turns green
Trees start to sway

New life blossoms all around
Small buds sprout and flowers bloom
Painting fresh colors on the ground

Expecting mothers begin to glow
Strong proud dads start to brag
A new life forms small and slow

Come Christmas time we'll all be blessed
Our family will be growing
By now you should have guessed

It’s a baby in mid December! 

PA Speaker Etiquette

I am never *EVER* allowed to use the PA speaker in my car to ask Juli to bring me a beer. *OR ANYTHING ELSE* EVER!!!!

Release the Kraken

We have a small dog. A havanese. He is pretty cool.
In the evenings after everything has settled down for the day, he will bark or wimper at us to let us know that he needs to go outside.
So usually either myself or one of the boys will let him outside. When he is ready to come back in, he will come to the door and back to let us know he is ready to come back in.

A couple of weeks ago, I get up to put the dog outside.
When he is done he comes to the door and barks.
My wonderful wife asks one of the boys to "Let the beast in, Release the Kraken".
The goofy child looks up and says "Release the Kraken", to which my wife repeats, "Release the Kraken".
The little goofball gets the evil grin, and says "Release the Kraken", and turns around and moons us!!!
I was laughing too hard to scold him, we both were.

I will never think of the phrase "Release the Kraken" the same.

I'm back

Yes, I'm still alive and just as awful as before if not a bit worse.
In the upcoming weeks, you will see me begin to post more stories.
Stay tuned, for hilarity will continue.

Are you sure.....

My wife never at any point in her life was a blonde......
I am no longer allowed to ask if she is sure she doesn't have blonde roots...
I am also not allowed to laugh when a co-worker asks her the same question.....

Go ahead and hold that over my head....

While at lunch, my wife and I are having one of those discussions where she tries to get me to say something that I fear she will hold over my head and that I will end up regretting.
After multiple attempts on her part, she finally asks why I won't say this "phrase".
I tell her that I don't want her to trick me into saying something that later she can hold over my head.
She then informs me that she isn't tall enough to hold those words over my head.
I was smacked for laughing and agreeing.